My spouse controls the money. How can I start a divorce?
You can speak with a lawyer before you have access to every account. Begin with two separate questions: what information is missing, and what money do you need now? A spouse who has always handled the bills may simply know more about the finances. Being denied access to money, having cards cut off or facing unpaid essential bills raises a more immediate problem.
For the first conversation, identify the next mortgage or rent payment, utilities, insurance, childcare and other essential expenses. Note due dates, available balances, changes in access and any existing orders. Explain whether you need help obtaining records, paying current expenses, retaining counsel, or all three.
Under Section 501 of the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, appropriate requests may include temporary support and interim attorney’s fees, including an allowance for a retainer. The court considers the statutory requirements and the parties’ circumstances. An order requiring the other spouse to pay is not automatic, and a request does not guarantee immediate funding.
If a specific transfer, unexplained account or inconsistent statement concerns you, use the guide to suspected hidden assets to organize that issue separately. Limited access alone does not establish concealment.
Can I speak with a divorce lawyer before I have the financial records?
Yes. An incomplete financial picture is a reason to identify the missing information, not a reason to postpone a conversation. Make a separate list of facts you know, estimates you are making and records you have not seen. Do not present a guess as a confirmed balance or income figure.
For example, you may know which bank receives pay deposits without knowing about every investment account. That is still a useful starting point. A lawyer can help decide what information to request and how to obtain it through lawful procedures.
Which financial records should I look for?
Make a simple inventory using records you are entitled to access. Keep copies intact, including the statement date. You do not need to solve the legal classification of an asset before listing it.
- Income: pay records, tax returns and information about bonuses, commissions or stock compensation.
- Accounts: the institution, account type, named owner and latest statement you have. Note missing periods.
- Home and debt: mortgage or lease information, loan statements, credit cards and recurring bills.
- Longer-term assets: retirement plans, businesses, real estate and any premarital or inheritance records you already hold.
Use lawful access only. Do not guess passwords, impersonate a spouse, enter accounts without authorization or delete records. If access is disputed, tell counsel what exists and how you learned of it.
Is this the same as completing an Illinois financial affidavit?
No. An informal inventory helps you prepare. A financial affidavit is a formal disclosure of income, expenses, assets and debts, with supporting documents. Follow the current form and instructions, explain missing information as directed, and correct errors rather than filling gaps with invented numbers.
The statewide instructions say to send the affidavit and required attachments to the other party or their lawyer, but to file them with the clerk only if a local rule or court order requires it. Redaction and delivery requirements matter because these records contain private information.
Source: Illinois Courts financial affidavit instructions, pages 1–3 (June 2025).
Cook County has additional mandatory-disclosure rules. Counsel should check the deadlines in your case and the required sequence before serving formal discovery.
What if I am worried about paying bills or hiring a lawyer?
Identify what is due soon, what funds you can access and whether an existing order addresses payment. Illinois law permits requests for temporary maintenance, child support and interim attorney’s fees in appropriate cases. These require a legal and factual basis; they are not automatic because one spouse earns more or controls an account.
Source: 750 ILCS 5/501(a)(1) and (c-1).
Discuss immediate cash needs before making large withdrawals, transferring assets or stopping payments. Bring a short list of near-term bills and ask what lawful options fit your circumstances.
Which questions will make the conversation useful?
- Which missing records matter for the next decision, and which can wait?
- How can we obtain information I cannot lawfully access myself?
- Does anything require temporary relief or preservation of records?
- How will fees and immediate household expenses be addressed?
If the financial picture includes a company or equity awards, see the business-owner guide and stock compensation guide. Use the preparation checklist to organize the first steps.
Two useful next steps
If access to funds is preventing you from retaining counsel, read can my spouse pay my divorce attorney’s fees? For a focused list of documents to organize, use the financial-records checklist.